For humans that think like people, learning to become good with horses can be a frustrating thing. After all, you are learning to speak a new language; a language that the horse has spoken for millions of years and spoken so well he has survived and thrived in a world full of predators. And after all, we - the human - are the ultimate predator.
If we can learn to not take it so personally when a horse out smarts us, out manoeuvres us or tests our patience and rather understand that he is just relying on his instincts for survival - the same instincts that have kept him alive for millions of years - then perhaps we will see all the little tests he gives us as opportunities to learn and become more skilful, rather than annoying and demeaning.
If you can learn to become more mentally and emotionally fit and accept that it is the horse’s job to be sure you are on your toes and a great leader -after all, it’s his survival at stake - then the study of horsemanship will no longer be a frustration for you, it will become a fascination. How we react to what a horse does is our choice; either like a horseman – seeing every thing that your horse does that you don’t want, as an opportunity to improve; or like everyone else - it’s just annoying, frustrating, it’s all the horse’s, programme’s, instructor’s, weather’s, other people around you, or the government’s fault!
Becoming a horseman is more about training ourselves than training our horses. They already know how to be a horse. At Quantum Savvy, we encourage you to take the time to learn to read your horse, understand what motivates him and makes him tick, learn to think and act like a horse / man, develop your skills and work on yourself. Then success will be yours.
One of the biggest reasons that success eludes people is fear. Fear of what? It may be something simple and obvious like an actual fear of horses – that they can knock you down, tread on you, run off with you, shy, buck. After all, they are big strong creatures and they can hurt us. All of these behaviours are responses caused by our horse still seeing us as a predator, or lacking leadership or untrustworthy in some way. Try looking at it this way. Throughout the study of natural horsemanship, we learn to become partners with our horses, great leaders and trusted friends. Once your horse sees you in this light he will no longer feel the need to respond in such a way. Develop a two-way, respectful and trusting partnership with your horse. Build rapport.
The most common fear we encounter is the fear of making mistakes and mistakes are the one thing that we need in order to gain experience and develop good judgement. If we fear making mistakes, we stop trying. If we stop trying we stop learning. It’s that simple.
Through our formative years at home, at school, at work and socially, we are conditioned to think that mistakes are bad. As children we try many new things, but if we are told often enough that we are wrong, or ridiculed for doing something incorrectly, we soon stop trying. Few people like to be told they are wrong. Some of us are so afraid of ‘looking silly’ that we just keep doing what we’ve always done, because it’s reasonably safe, familiar and involves no risks. Many people avoid trying something new, as they are afraid of doing it wrong or making a fool of themselves and therefore miss out on many of life’s wonderful experiences.
One of the first things we encourage you to do in your quest for horsemanship is to make mistakes and therefore gain valuable experience. This is how the human brain works and is how we learn. In order to learn we must first try, make a mistake, adjust what we did and then try again. We repeat this process until we get the desired outcome. There is no such thing as right and wrong, only what works and what doesn’t. If this process didn’t work, we would never have learnt to walk as babies!
So many people really want to become good with horses, but as soon as they start to find something difficult they get frustrated, cross with themselves or their horse and end up generally blaming something. When our emotions come up like this, our ability to think clearly, goes out the window and chaos follows right behind. If you can recognize when this is starting to happen to you and instead say to yourself ‘here comes another opportunity to learn’ you’ll be half way to success just by doing so.
Fear, in whichever form, is paralysing and disempowering. You’ll find yourself using all sorts of other excuses rather than face it. Too hot, too cold, too windy, no time, can’t afford it, too far, not ready yet, didn’t like that Instructor! Overcoming it is part of our mental and emotional development.
Mistakes will give you a valuable reference point by which you can gain experience on what does and does not work. The more mistakes you make, the more you will learn. Remember to just keep on trying. If it’s really not happening today, it doesn’t matter. Try to finish on a positive note, even if it means going back to something that seems simple. Then just leave it and try again tomorrow.
Responsibility – or our ability to respond. Only you can determine if you will be successful or not. These days there is lots of help available to you, through the Quantum Savvy programme as well as numerous books, videos, clinicians, the internet and more ... all you have to do is try to help yourself.
The Road To Horsemanship Lesson Videos
Lesson 3, Chapter 6:
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- By Meredith Ransley, Quantum Savvy.